Tuesday, February 23, 2010 @ 5:22 AM
I CANT EXPLAIN MYSELF.
Well maybe im in a very bad mood way..
well, me n bby had nt gone very well.
mybe because of my menses. well mybe IDK.
seriously IDK. i just cant describe what im feeling.
maybe im sad? angry? stress? studies? families? babyboi?
i just cant expLAIN
im very speechless now.. every day i hope tht my
problems all settled but no, it becoming more major and major.
my N-level cooming n its a total of 330bucks.
atok want to pay fr it bt i wont allow him to,
cz he had fine of 150 and a bill of 500+
hw r they gnna survive?? well i cant do aniting
but to study hard fr them... its a promise i made to
go to polytechnic one day.
i cried while saying this to my atok n nenek just nw.
"shasha janji atok ngn mak one day shasha akan masok Poly k,
shasha sayang atok ngan mak, mak ngn atok tkmo pergi dulu tau,
tngok shasha masok poly dengan naek pelamin"
atok says.
"macam ane pon atok akan tetap jage anak atok, atok nk shasha masok
poly, atok akan selalu tngok shasha. tkmo hampakn atok."
i cried while saying that to my atok n nenek just nw.
i really love them alot, i strt to have interst to dnce
was frm them. and started to like SENI from them too
not all girls likes seni, swear i love malay dance, malay traditional songs
and more got to do with seni. i really love it bcz my grandparents lve it too.
i just cant explain how describe myself.. from small they tc of me.
until a scariest nightmare tht was on 2006 going 2007.
my dad tried to seperate us away. its very hard fr me. it is..
i kept on calling them at night n cry. i cant sleep without them.
why at tht point of time they were very heartless? why?
knape baba buat shasha mcam gnie? knape? baba suka
tngok anak baba menderita kn? even now ur makin me sufer.
im totally hurt with u... but there's ntg cn seperate me with my grandparents.
i love them too much....
for my bby love...
im so sorry syg. im very sorry.
but bear with me plz...
i really had a very missarable life...
im confuse n i dont know wht to do..
plz after reading this do not ask n ask n ask.
plz undertand me syg...
last time u understood me when im sad,
but nw no u dnt,,
wen im sad i cant talk, i cant even open my mouth.
let me cool down fr awhile n i can tlk..
plzz baby i dnt need much frm u..
i just need u to understnd me wen im sad/down.
I CANT EXPLAIN MYSELF.